


Wake

by Jane Shepard (Lilya_030)



Series: Mass Effect [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Destroy Ending, F/M, JAM mod, MEHEM mod, post-end game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 02:16:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13754157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilya_030/pseuds/Jane%20Shepard
Summary: You chose the button. You welcomed death. But peace was not yours to have.





	1. Death?

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is a work in progress, or chapters may be edited after posting if required.
> 
>  
> 
> FemShep: this one's for you. <3 Mehmi

_Breathe,_ _Shepard_ _._

I open my eyes to the forest of Mindoir. It's the forest I have been dreaming of almost every night since we left Earth. Am I dreaming now? I cannot tell. The dappled sun shining through the trees I brighter than I remember. Warmer, too.

 _It's time to get up, Skipper_. 

I look around for the source of the voice, but I am alone in the forest. I get to my feet, dusting the underbrush from my dress blues. I hesitate; this wasn't what I was wearing before I passed out.

 _Follow me_. A flash of colour amongst the trees pulls my attention from my clothes. Without hesitation, I set out toward it, searching for its source. The dreams were always like this, me chasing the boy, as the forest around me burned. Something felt different this time, but what I couldn't pinpoint. I kept following the trail of the boy, taking not of the trees thinning, until we're on sand with a vast expanse of water. [Text Wrapping Break]

The boy races past a figure but I stop, recognising her instantly, her white armour blazing in the sun. Her dark hair tumbles with the ocean breeze. Her kind grey eyes bore into my soul.

" _Death closes all: but something ere the end_ _;_ _Some work of noble note, may yet be done,_ _Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods_ _._ " 

The words echo around me, carried along by the wind which picks at her flowing hair. I reach out, but just as my fingers are about to touch her, she is gone.

I stumble, then regain my footing. Deep inside me, something is wrong, but I quash the feeling as I gaze out at the sea. Gentle waves break upon the sand, creeping up to nip at my bare feet. [Text Wrapping Break]

The wind tousles at my hair, but I don't mind. I can hear another voice, humming a familiar tune. To my left is a salarian, one-horned and with various scars pale across his face. The tune he hums is familiar as he brushes a seashell clean with his fingers

" _-I am the very model of a scientist salarian_ _."_

"Mordin?" I whisper.

He stops singing, his scarred and battered face turning to gaze up at me. " _Had to be us, Shepard. Anyone else might have gotten it wrong._ " 

I want to reach out to him, take my friend in my arms and not let go, but it impossible. One blink, and he too disappears. 

Another voice caresses my ears; this time it brings tears to my eyes. I don't have to look to know who it is praying beside me.

" _Kalahira, mistress of the tides, grant peace to my siha. Let forgiveness wash over her soul, and bring about a purity long thought lost. Allow the currents of your oceans to guide her to her next life, so that she may begin anew. Watch over her as you watched over me, and let her be your companion, as she was once mine._ "

"Please don't leave," my stricken voice is hardly more than a whisper. A rough hand takes mine, and I see David Anderson smiling back at me. "One last hoorah, Shepard?"

 There is a wave coming in to shore, bigger than any imaginable. I should be afraid. I'm gripping Anderson's hand tightly. Water tumbles down, sweeping us up, breaking us apart. I can't see anything in the inky darkness that washes over me. I'm trapped, unable to surface, losing oxygen quickly. There's nothing I can do, except close my eyes and await the sweet release of death...

_Shepard, breathe._

_-_

 

"Major, over here!"  
Kaidan rushed over to Liara's voice. Two bodies lay before them. She was checking for signs of life on one, propped against a ledge as if he was taking a moment to rest. It was Admiral Anderson.  
Liara straightened, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, he's been gone for quite a while."  
The other body was horribly disfigured, but he could still make out the face of the Illusive Man. He too was long dead.  
"Keep looking," he told the others. "She has to be here, somewhere." There was a terminal nearby. He stepped over and tried to make it work, but it was too damaged. He slammed his fist down next to the holographic keyboard.  
A blue hand came to rest on his shoulder. "Kaidan," Liara murmured gently. "It has been three days since Shepard entered the beacon. Maybe it's time we let go. She's in a better place, with friends."  
"I can't," he grated in reply. "I tried once, two years ago. And then she was back and I realised I'd never stop loving her, no matter what happened between us."  
"You don't have to stop loving someone to let them go. She knew this might be the end, Javik told me so in London. She wouldn't want you to dwell on her."  
Her words were right, his mind agreed. But his heart had long since surpassed his mind's control over decisions. "Asari may have learned how to give up on others, but humans haven't," he replied harshly.  
Silence rose around them as the others stopped clearing. Liara looked to see what was happening, and her grip tightened on the major's shoulder. Kaidan turned, freezing when he saw what everyone had stopped for. Javik was approaching them, a limp body in his arms. Dried blood covered the broken remains of her armour; her helmet was missing, and her eyes were closed on her battered face. The Prothean paused a few feet away from him.  
"I-is-" the major's voiced cracked. He swallowed the dryness in his throat and tried again. "Is she..." He couldn't finish the sentence.  
"She breathes, but her mind, it is dark. It does not wake up."  
"Coma." Someone mumbled to the Prothean. Javik lay the commander's body on the ground. Kaidan ran a scan of her body with his omnitool. At least half of her ribs were fractured or broken, and she had a wound in her abdomen which had only just missed any major organs. Many of her cybernetic implants were malfunctioning, or offline completely. He wasn't sure if they were the reason for her unconsciousness. He looked up at the people watching. "Liara, go find Doctor Chakwas. She knows how to work with Shepard's implants."  
As the asari hurried off, he began removing Shepard's damaged armour, applying medigel to her wounds as he went. "C'mon, Shepard," he murmured quietly, desperately. "Don't give up now, you have a brave new galaxy to see."

 -

 

"Well what do you suggest, Doctor?" He demanded angrily.  
"I need equipment, Major Alenko. Equipment that I don't have with me. Huerta wasn't too badly damaged when the Reapers took control, so we should take her there."  
Kaidan gathered the commander's body gently in his arms and followed the doctor to the shuttle. Cortez flew them to the remains of the hospital. Survivors of the Citadel takeover had gathered there, desperately seeking help. A group of turians were keeping the peace, led by a red-headed human doctor. When she spotted them she allowed them through.  
"Doctor Chakwas, what are you doing 'ere?" She asked.  
"I could ask you the same thing, Doctor Michel. But later. Right now we need your help. Do you have any cybernetic units operational?"  
"Cybernetics? Is this about Shepard?" She looked over Chakwas' shoulder at Kaidan. "Oh my god," she whispered. "Yes, quickly, come this way."  
Doctor Michel led them to a small room in the hospital. With Chakwas' help she righted an overturned bed, and then they began discussing the best course of action to restore Shepard's cybernetics. The major gently lay Shepard's body on the bed, ignoring their conversation. He wondered if this was how she had felt after the Cerberus attack on Mars which had left him in the hospital for days. He felt so helpless as he looked at her battered body, wishing there was something more he could do.

 

 

Kaidan stood up the moment he saw the door open. Doctor Chakwas came out, stretching out a crick in her neck. "How is she?" He asked.  
"We've done everything we can," she told the major. "Now, it's just a waiting game. Go and be with her, Kaidan. It might help."  
He nodded and walked into the room. Shepard looked just the same as when he'd left, though her wounds had been cleaned and sealed better than his rush job in the field. There was a chair in the corner; he pulled it over so he could sit by the bedside. He took her hand in both of his and pressed her cold fingers to his lips, whispering, "Come on Shepard. I need you."

 

  
"I need you Jane, don't leave me now."  
The words echo through the darkness, whispering against the edges of consciousness. Like trying to taste something that isn't there the words ring out, but are incomprehensible. What do they mean? Who is Jane?  
_I am Jane_. The thought sends my senses into overdrive. My body burns, limbs and fingers and toes suddenly brought into being by pain piercing my flesh. My insides feel like acid is eating its way out of me. I scream, but no sound leaves my closed lips. I can't move.  
Another thought occurs. I've felt like this before. It triggers a memory. An alien hand stretching up beside me; my hand. More voices speaking, my hand is gently taken and returned to its place. A brunette leans over me, speaking words I can't hear...  
My head hurts, like it has been split in two. The darkness calls, it wants to draw me back into its embrace, but fear compels me to stay awake. I struggle inside my body, fighting to move, to open my eyes. My body is a mass of unmoving parts. " _-Nothing more than meat and tubes_..."  
Slowly, a nerve in my finger twitches. The heat hovering over my hand clasps tighter as a mass beside me comes to attention. My scalp tingles. A single word echoes through the vaults of my mind. "Shepard?"  
That voice. The recognition brings more knowledge. Faces flick through my mind; I search for the one that matches the voice. Bourbon eyes, springy hair. A smile that makes my heart ache. Lean muscles that embrace me and bring me home. Hands that set fire to every inch of my body.  
I know his name. Kaidan Alenko. He is always there, even on Horizon, even when I was the enemy. When he had to choose between his duty and trusting me. Need burns within my chest. I have to find a way to tell him I am here. Now that I know the sensation of my finger twitching, I can remember what it feels like. I concentrate all my strength on my hand, moving my finger deliberately to prests into the warmth covering my hand. There's movement beside me, Kaidan is standing, calling out to me. His hand grips mine tightly. The finger is not enough. I have to speak, tell him I'm still here.  
"I'm here!" I shout, but it comes out as a muffled exhale. I try again but my lips won't form the words. Something wet trickles down my temple. Am I crying?  
Warmth frames my face. "Open your eyes, Jane," says Kaidan.  
I want to, so badly. But they are clamped shut, impenetrable doors locked tight against the world. The only part of my body that will move is my finger. I'll have to get creative.  
I think back to my military training, and an old classic spymaster's code taught in training comes to mind. Morse code.  
Pressing my fingernail into his hand, I start tapping out a message. Dot dot, space, dash dash, space. Dot dot dot dot, space, dot, space, dot dash dot, space, dot. Pause, then repeat.  
After two repetitions he moves my hand, placing it on top of his open palm. Heart racing, I keep tapping out the message, begging for him to understand.  
"Chakwas!" The roar is loud, excitable. I hear footsteps, coming towards us. "Get in here!"  
Another familiar voice graces my ears, husky with age. "Shepard, if you can hear me, open your eyes."  
Fear strikes my chest like lightning. If I can't open my eyes, will they think I'm braindead? I dig my nail into Kaidan's flesh as hard as I can.  
"Ouch!" He lets go, and my hand falls hard against something cold and solid. The sudden pain makes me flinch, the muscles in my face twitching slightly, instinctively.  
"Her reflexes are certainly intact," Chakwas drawls. I can imagine her face, eyebrows raised as she scolds Kaidan. I want to laugh.  
A shadow passes over my face. I can smell Chakwas as she leans over me. My left eyelid is pinched by the lashes and lifted, and I can see light shining. My eye fills with tears, blurring my vision. I can make out two shapes in front of me, one grey and close by, the other dark, hovering behind the first. It is that one I want to see.  
It takes so much effort, more than twitching my finger, but I manage to roll my gaze over to the dark shape. It is featureless behind the watery film on my sight. I need to blink, clear my eyes. I squeeze them hard, using all the surrounding muscles. The fingers gripping my eyelid let go, and I blink slowly, managing to open both eyelids on my own. Sight still blurry, I blink again, and again, getting faster each time.  
My hand is grabbed once more, wrapped tight in warm, familiar palms. More tears threaten to spill down my face as I can finally make out the dark shadow of his hair and beard, the worry etched into his face. Bourbon eyes that were also filled with tears. My hand is lifted to his lips; he presses them to my fingers repeatedly, as if my hand could disappear at any moment.  
Chakwas is doing tests. Asking me to flex muscles, move limbs. I can't do any of it. Only my eyes, and that single finger, can react to her stimuli. Frustration builds inside me as I repeatedly fail. My heart is pounding fiercely. Chakwas stops.  
"That's enough. It seems SHepard's cybernetics failure has caused paralysis in the majority of her body. She could also have brain damage, but it's hard to tell. If we weren't lacking so much equipment, I could maybe do something right away to restore the damage, but as it is... This might be as good as it gets. I'm sorry."  
Panic replaces frustration. I dig my working finger into Kaidan's hand once more, bringing his attention back to me. Chakwas leaves as Kaidan draws closer.  
"That hurts you know," he murmurs, though his heart isn't in it. I lock my gaze with his until he closes the gap, leaning down to press his lips against mine. I can feel him sigh, as if he hoped kissing me could wake me up, like a princess from an old fairytale. He pulls a chair close and sits next to me, never once letting go of my hand.  
I'm afraid, and frustrated. Tears prick my eyes. Never before has my body refused to move as I bid it. I want to scream and thrash about, to throw a biotic blast at something.  
Panic is setting in, not a feeling that I'm used to. Give me a zero to one odds scenario of surviving multiple waves of enemies, and I'll calmly dictate orders to my squad and get them through without a blink of an eye. Paralyse me, lock me in my own body and I lose my mind within ten minutes of waking up. If I could laugh at the situation, I would.

 

 

I look over at the man seated beside me, his head almost touching his shoulder as he dozes. His hand hasn't once left mine. It's been hours since I regained consciousness, and I'm bored to tears. I don't want to sleep, I'm too afraid that I won't wake up again. But there's only so many times I can count the marks I can see on the ceiling before its lost its intrigue.  
So I press my finger into Kaidan's hand. He instantly shifts, opening bleary eyes to check me over. I try to relay my boredom and apologies for waking him up all in one look.  
A wry smile cracks his weary face. "Sorry, I haven't slept in... a while. You seem to do that to me."  
Normally, I would quirk an eyebrow and make a witty comment, some type of innuendo at least. 'Working men to the bone is my specialty', or something.  
"Thinking something dirty, Shep?" He asks, catching my attention. "Your right eyebrow just twitched."  
I try to capture the feeling, but it doesn't move again. I sigh internally, letting my eyes roam back to the ceiling once more, wishing I could break the silence.  
"Hey, what can I do for you, Jane? I know you must be bored."  
I glance back over at him. He's here, safe, as is Chakwas, but they are the only two I've seen since regaining consciousness. A sudden need to know the whereabouts of my crew washes over me. I look to the floor to ceiling windows, hoping he understands.  
"You want to know what happened."  
I blink twice for yes, a system we had organised earlier.  
"Whatever you did up there in the control room of the crucible worked. The reapers are dead, their source codes wiped from existence. Some of the relays were knocked out, as well as other tech that still had reaper code imbedded in them, that's probably why half of your cybernetics malfunctioned. But it also means that anyone Cerberus implanted with reaper tech is out of action. The Shadow Broker absorbed all of the non-implanted Cerberus personnel, and the Illusive Man himself was more husk than flesh when they found his body."  
I know what is coming next, but I have to know. I have to hear it from someone else, to know it's real.  
"We found Anderson, too. I'm so sorry, I know you looked up to him."  
I close my eyes, willing away tears that are threatening to form. It's not a memory that easily comes to me; most of my memory after jumping into the beacon is gone. But I remember sitting next to Anderson, listening as he tells me how he thinks of me as his own. Hearing his final breaths, and knowing I had to keep moving, even though I was so tired. So done.

 

 

  
Three weeks, and I've finally gained the ability to eat, albeit only liquids and soft foods. Chewing is something I have to concentrate on. I never realised how many movements my body performed autonomously before now. I've had to relearn even the most basic functions. The procedures and rehabilitation that Chakwas, Michel, and Miranda perform on me have admittedly helped a lot. Thanks to them, I can now move my arm, turn my head, and twitch my toes. My progress just spurs me to work even harder to return to normal.  
And I have a surprise in store for Kaidan, something I've been working on in my own time. I'm waiting on his return from meetings with the Council. As the only capable human Spectre, they've been calling on him a lot. This time, he's been away two days.  
Just as I think about him, he enters my room, removing his Alliance dress blue jacket and hat, and hanging them over a chair. I smile, my heart jumping a little as I take a breath.  
"Hey," I say, my rusty voice no more than a whisper. He pauses in the middle of undoing his cuffs, and turns to stare at me.  
"Did you-" he starts, his darks eyes checking me up and down, as if something is wrong with me.  
"Shur-prrishe," I murmur slowly, biting back my grin.. He's by my side in an instant, pulling the chair close and taking my hand in his. I squeeze in reply to his grasp as hard as I can, which is still a fraction of my previous strength.  
"When did this happen?" He rumbles as he leans his cheek into my hand.  
"Jush' now..." It takes a lot of effort to keep my words clear and audible, enough that it makes my jaw ache. The pain lets me know that I can do it, so I don't mind. I have something far more important on my mind, anyway.  
He's about to speak, so I move my hand to cover his lips with a finger. "Kai'n-" I can't pronounce his name properly, but it's good enough. "Kiss me."  
His eyes light up, and he obeys without further comment. It's a proper kiss, with parted lips and playful tongues. I hook my working arm around his neck, not wanting to stop anytime soon.

 

 

My limbs are numb, I can't move. I try to call for help, but my words only come out jumbled and slow. I can feel panic rising in my chest, bringing tears to my eyes. Something is definitely wrong. I try to create a biotic field above me to light the darkness, but instead searing pain rips through my skull. I scream.  
A door opens, letting light into the room. Machines surround my bed; I'm still at the hospital. A familiar woman strides to my side. "Shepard, calm down. You're in the hospital, remember?"  
I breathe in a deep breath, trying to obey Miranda's words. Memories flood back. I've been lying in the hospital for over a week as Chakwas and Miranda work on restoring my cybernetics, which are still malfunctioning. My L5 implant is one of them, making any attempt at creating biotic fields an extremely painful waste of time. 'Rattled,' Kaidan would say.  
Now I realise he isn't in his usual spot next to me, holding my hand.  
"Where'sh Kai'an?" I asked Miranda, slow and deliberate so that my words made sense.  
"The Alliance needed him to sort something out, he'll be back later."

 

Once I can finally move most my limbs- with great difficulty, I should note- it's decided that I should be somewhere more conducive to my healing. It seems my apartment, gifted to me by Anderson, suffered only miner damage during the invasion. So with a lot of help from some of my crew and the doctors, I've been relocated to the SilverSun apartment. Alenko moves with me, naturally. I mostly stay in the downstairs bedroom, except for rehab exercises. Sometimes Kaidan will help me to the lounge, or dining table, and by help I mostly mean carry, as I still haven't got full movement in my legs.

 

  
Kaidan is asleep soundly beside me, but I'm wide awake after our... strenuous activities earlier that evening. I don't want to wake him, so I slowly shuffle my legs out from under the covers, and reach for the mobility assist device that helps bear my weight when I walk. I hate the thing, but as I lean my weight onto it to pull myself from the bed, I know that it's a necessary evil. I still can't walk unaided, like many other things I can't do. It's a fact that I have to deal with until I recuperate my strength.

 

 


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard learns to manage the true after-effects of the Reaper War

I look out onto the concourse of SilverSun Strip. Despite the ravages of the Reapers and the Crucible, the Strip is as busy as ever. People are celebrating the end of the war, as happy as ever under the neon lights. Even the keepers are out in force, repairing damaged sections and maintaining the systems that keep the Citadel Ward working.  
Across from me, in the middle of the concourse, is a row of chairs. That's my goal. It's not far, but my broken body is still a long way from normal. Walking unaided is my next challenge. I let go of the railing I'd been grasping onto, and slowly step towards the chairs.  
I've almost reached the centre when a blur of colour crashes into me. Instincts take over; despite my disability I grab hold of my assailant as I struggle to keep my footing. Biotic energy sputters in my free hand, a shadow of my former power. I can hear shouting as footsteps surround me.  
"Hey you, step away from-"  
I look up, and the small crowd of c-sec officers go silent. Somewhere behind me I can hear a murmured, "Isn't that Shepard? Holy shit!" The kid in my grasp doesn't even flinch at the name.  
"What seems to be the problem, officers?" I ask, paying careful attention to pronouncing my words.   
"That duct-rat you're holding is responsible for robbing three casino patrons. We're taking him in." The speaker is a female turian, the markings on her uniform tell me she's a sergeant.  
I inspect the wriggling kid in my grasp. They look to be around eight, underfed and too dirty to determine the colour of their shoulder length hair. The tattered, nondescript clothing doesn't help determine much, either. I lean down, ignoring the smell, and murmur, "Righ', kid. Either you go to jail for robbery, or, you hang ou' with me for a few hours. Your choice."   
The kid looks up speculatively, and I know they're thinking if they pick me they'll just be able to disappear once c-sec is gone. I grin mischievously. "Don' even think abou' runnin' off, I've pu' a biotic marker on you, I'll track you down and hand you in." The look takes on a little bit of fear at my little white lie.  
"That's not a thing," they comment timidly. I let my grin widen a bit further.  
"Oh, you think so? Surely you've heard the stories abou' me. Commander Shepard, the Spectre who ended the Reapers...?"  
Genuine fear takes over the kid's face. Holding back a smirk -the kid was almost cute- I straighten out and look seriously at the turian sergeant. "I'll takeover from here. Spectre business, you understand."  
"B-but aren't you ret-" the consternated sergeant halts at my glare, before calling off her team.  
As they leave, I loosen my grip. When the kid shows no signing of making a dash for it, I let go. They turn to watch me with genuine curiosity.  
"Why'd you do that?" They ask.  
"Because I'm a bored old cripple, and i' looked like fun. Wha' abou' you?"  
The kid's stomach answers for them. I bite back my laugh and say, "Here's the deal, you give me wha' you stole from the patrons, and the credi' chi' you took from me, and I'll trea' you to all you can ea'."  
Wide-eyed, the kid hands over the spoils of their work, including my chit. I flick my head in the direction of my apartment. "C'mon, give a war ve' a hand home."   
Using their shoulder for support, we make it back fairly quickly to my apartment. As soon as I unlock and open the door, a holographic orb whizzes towards me. "Welcome home Shepard, how was your walk? Do you require the mobility assistant? Remember, Doctor Chakwas has instructed you-"  
I groan and try to shoo it away. "No' now Glyph, we have a visi'or." I glance at the grubby kid. "Wha's your name?"  
"Sloth."  
I stare at them with a questioning look.  
"On account'a I'm slow."  
"Tha's no' a real name."  
"Why do you even care?" The kid suddenly demands, loudly. "And where's the food you promised. If you ain't gonna feed me, I'm outta here. I won't be some cripple lady's toyboy, you know!"  
I feel my eyes rolling as I hobble over to the kitchen. "I ge' plenny of tha' from my husband, thank you."  
"I don't get it. Whaddya want from me then?"  
I pull out the leftover take-out from the night before, and place it on the bench. I speak deliberately slowly, concentrating on my words so they are clear. "When I was a kid... someone saved me from a life on the stree's. Withou' them, I would never have stopped the Reapers. I have an obligation to repay that debt."  
It doesn't take long to reheat the leftovers, and I pile two plates up with the delicious smelling Asari-human hybrid dish. Before I hand over a plate to the kid, I ask one more time, "so wha's your name?"

 

I don't get much more out of the kid. He stuffs himself until there's nothing but a smear of sauce left on his plate. It's obvious he hasn't had a decent meal in a long while. I pour him some juice and pull out a box of Earthan cookies (a gift from Kaidan's Ma) before speaking once more.  
"When was the las' time you had a decen' meal?" I asked.  
"Dunno, a while ago..."  
"Uh huh. How long have you been on the stree's?"  
"Since Reapers wiped out half my colony. We were relocated here but then my brother and ma got killed when the Reapers..." His voice is hardly more than a murmur. My heart pangs; he reminds me of the boy from Earth, the one who still haunts my dreams.   
"I'm sorry," I whisper.   
"What for? You did your job, if the stories are to be believed."  
I smile at the boy and say bitterly, "because they should've been stopped sooner. So many lives los', because I wasn' fas' enough."  
"Whatever, if I concentrated only on what I lost, I couldn't get enough to eat everyday."  
I pull myself up from my seat and stretch. There is something about this kid that makes me feel he's more than just a street urchin. "There's a ho'tub upstairs in the firs' room's ensuite. Take as long as you wan'. Use the wardrobe to dress, if my husband's clothes don' fi' try mine. Trash the clothes you're wearing now."  
"Do I need to be expecting company?" I glare at the boy, and he shrugs and gets up to leave the dining area. "Whatever you say, lady."  
"Please, jus' Jane."  
"Well... I'm Jon."

The boy, Jon, takes his time getting clean. I sit in view of the front door, which I've locked, and run through my therapy exercises, trying to calculate any progress I've made in my head. Logically I know I'm exceeding all expectations- I've always been a pretty fast healer- but on a day-to-day, it feels like trying to push through heavy gravity.   
I've just started my speech therapy when Jon trots down the stairs, looking a little dwarfed in my cargo pants and one of Kaidan's t-shirts. I can see now that his skin is the colour of milked coffee, his strong jaw stubbornly set as he looks to me with dark eyes set in a gaunt face  
"So what now? You fed me, cleaned me up, happy now? Can I go?"  
"Go where? Back to the stree's? I heard the stories of kids goin' missin', I know wha' the deepes' pits of the Ci'adel are like. You really wanna live ou' there, stealin' for scraps of food?"  
His stare wavers as he hesitates. I'm not sure what it is about this kid that draws me to him. The intelligent gleam in his eyes that tells me he's always thinking, always calculating. Perhaps he just reminds me of my younger self. Whatever it is, I'm determined to stop him from becoming just another lost duct-rat.  
"Why? Why bother with a kid like me?"  
I raise an eyebrow. "I told you, to repay a debt. Or maybe it's my maternal instinc' kickin' in." I wink as the boy's look turns slightly horrified. "The real question tha' needs to be answered is: why did you run into me on purpose?"  
He's staring at me now, like I've seen straight through him. "You knew who I was. Everyone in SilverSun does, and they give me a wide berth. Bu' you ran straigh' into me."  
Silence ebbs by. "You're a smar' kid," I murmur. "Stayin' here means regular food, a safe place to sleep. A chance to grow up and make somethin' of yourself. Or-" I glance pointedly at the door, "you can risk endin' up in a Keeper va'."  
Mentioning the final destination of this who get lost in the ducts seems to do the trick. Jon pulls out a chair and sits down once more. I pass him over one of the datapads resting on the table.


End file.
